Lately, I tend to think a bunch. I think of loss, the future, family, friends, my students, my colleagues, situations I can’t change. I think of people who crossed my path many years ago who helped to shape my life. I think of friendships that have vanished, friendships that have blossomed, and friendships that are forming.
I think of where I was and where I am, and where I want to be. I think of the wilderness and how much I’ve had to overcome, my calling, and the unexpected expectations of failure within careers.
One of my greatest blessings is serving others. I love to serve my community, my students, my colleagues, and the elderly. The elderly are so wise and they bring me joy in the midst of chaos.
I love to hear their stories, to watch them smile, but to visualize what they experienced through my lens.
There’s this sweet lady who is just adorable, but she tells me often I’m her eyes. I tell her everything around her, what is taking place, I encourage her to participate even though she can’t see. She’s adorable and brings so much joy even though she can’t see.
I think of how much she has to trust others to tell her what to do or where to go.
Then I compare her story and life, to how much Jesus wants us to trust him for guidance. Jesus is holding his hand out telling us to take hold and trust him.
Being called to be a disciple is not easy, but God walks us through every storm with so much grace, love, compassion, and strength. He will always guide us, we just have to let go and trust!
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, the chaos of life took over and as I sit here pondering deep emotions, processing the ability to think, speak, sit in silence, I wonder what is our purpose in life.
To me purpose means a calling, an effort to reach the next generation. A calling and passion God has placed upon your life. For me my calling is to serve others, to teach, to love big, to encourage, to uplift, to motivate, and to be brutally honest.
Tonight, my heart grieves for loss. For broken pieces I cannot fix. For unspoken words, for emptiness, for watery eyes, for financial stress, for poor decisions, for heavy hearts. My heart grieves with you.
You might think this is the last straw or you don’t have the strength to face the next giant, or the flood, or maybe even the next word spoken to you.
I promise you, life is hard; it’s not easy 24/7. However, Jesus is with you always. Even in your darkest hour he’s there.
I often think of the story of Peter walking on the water. In the beginning Jesus called to him and he was focused on him, but when Peter took his eyes of Jesus he began to sink.
How often do we try and do everything on our own. We try and carry everything ourselves. We tell people we are okay, when deep down we are emotionally burned inside. We are boiling and waiting for the water to boil over. This is because we are trying to do everything ourselves.
Jesus wants us too trust him! He wants us to keep our eyes focused on things above. We cannot change the past, we can only focus on the present. Sometimes that’s one second at a time. Your worth and your value are important. Surround yourself with people who build you up; not tear you down.
Trust the process and know even in the chaos, God is working everything out for your good.
You are loved! You are Valued! And the world needs you!
From the moment I entered this world, I have been non-stop 24/7. I’m determined, driven, stubborn, independent, smart, beautiful, a girl who loves to have a good time. I love life and take everything that has been handed to me with Grace and Strength.
Lately, I think a lot about life and how it’s lived. For me, I never want to miss an opportunity to serve, to love, to crack a joke, or to have a teachable moment.
When I think of relationships and growing pains in the midst of chaos. I think of are they living life. Are they willing to grow with each other? Are they serving each other? Is Jesus the center of the mess?
For me, I want to live my life to the fullest! To overcome every obstacle before me, to write books about my story, to share Jesus no matter what, to love big, but to grow endlessly. I want to treat everyone equally, to help them reach their full potential, to help them chase their dreams, to be their rock when they are down and to be their biggest cheerleader when they reach their victories.
I think of how Jesus was perfect and he came to give us eternal life. I’m definitely far from perfect and I’ve made some big mistakes, but God’s grace is sufficient.
What are you doing with your life? How are you changing the world? How are you serving others?
If you learn anything from me; learn to choose Jesus above all situations and God will bring you peace, even when you feel like your world is crashing!
At the age of 10, I gave my life to Jesus and it was the best decision I ever made. Life hasn’t always been fair or easy, and trials have came, but he’s never left my side.
“Be Strong and of good courage for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
As a runner and as a triathlete, it takes months of training, time, energy, grit, and determination to put in the work to compete with the elite. Personally, I do it for fun! I love thee challenge, the drive, the mental toughness it brings, but what I love the most is running across the finish line and telling myself I did it. Then looking for my next big race to compete in.
The mental toughness is built overtime, it is earned not given. You do not wake one day and become a champion; you train yourself to be the best and you put in the work day in and day out.
The very first time I did a triathlon, I’m at the starting line looking at the water and I was saying, “Oh man, what have I done!” I trained, but I really didn’t train that much. I kept saying over and over again “God is my strength, I can do this!” At one moment on the lake, a lifeguard asked me if I was okay, as I wasn’t swimming, I was doggie paddling and just praying I didn’t drown. Imagine all these people watching and you just happened to be the one to sink and now you are the memory of the race. That was not going to be me on my worst or best day. So I fought, and kept quoting scripture in my head over and over.
After you put in all of the hard work, the best part is getting the hardware.
All this to be said that in the midst of going through the hardest trials of a triathlon, lots of crazy things go through your head. I often think:
I’m crazy.
I hope I survive.
How much longer do I have?
I hope they have some food at the end and not just a piece of bread.
I should have trained harder.
im going to pass that girl.
Lord. Give me strength .
I’m never doing this again.
Oh my. I can see the finish line.
Oh yea!! I’m bad. Woohoo. Run. Don’t let them know you’re dying inside. Smile. Because you survived.
I did it!
As those thoughts go through my head over and over, I’m reminded that God is my strength, he is with me no matter what. He created me in his image and he knew I was going to have an adventurous spirit in my mother’s womb.
The trials we face, the obstacles we overcome, allow us to see our strength, teach us to draw closer to God and help us appreciate the little things.
Whether you are doing your first triathlon or first race, know that God is with you through the storm. Keep pressing forward and believe God is on your side, even when you can’t feel that he’s working.
I’m sure you’ve experienced being Under Fire, not being able to catch a break from life, yet, you still find strength to Press On. I was recently reminded of the story of Job and how he faced many trials but he never lost his faith in Jesus. He always remained steadfast.
This year I challenged myself to read the entire Bible. Currently I’m in Genesis and I’m amazed already how God is speaking to me. How he created the heavens and the earth and had a very strategic plan when doing so. While reading the book of Genesis, God has spoken to me about being intentional with my time. Each person is on their own journey, they have their own struggles, life sometimes comes up out of nowhere and allows you to stop dead center and realize that when the world falls apart, when nobody truly understands what you are enduring, but they see you’ve never lost your faith.
The world will fail you, people will disappoint, but Jesus never will. I’d like to think of myself as unforgettable. I’m full of adventure, life, grit, determination, and I’m stubborn as a mule, therefore my head is full of bricks at times… Meaning… It takes a lot to knock me down.
The last few months of recovery from surgery, a new diagnosis, has really taught me to trust Jesus at a new level. Sometimes, we might feel like we are being punished or we feel like we are under attack. Truth is Spiritual Warfare is real. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came to give life abundantly. What you choose to do with what you’re handed is up to you.
When God calls us home as he will one day, what legacy will you live. Will people remember you by your fruit or will people remember you for your faith, grit, and determination.
I know you may feel like you are under attack and you may feel alone at times. Just know this season, you’re going to find your real friends, find those that will stand with you through the fire, and those that had the wrong motives. Be the person that has the right motives. Be the friend that reaches out just because. Be the colleague that brings Joy and Laughter in the workplace.
Never underestimate the power of prayer, your place in this world, your trials, and never give up your faith.
Not everyone is meant to be in your circle and not everyone is meant to carry your battle.
I’m so very thankful God sent me my husband on October 3, 2022. Life is not perfect, and if anyone tells you marriage is easy they’ve lied to you. Marriage is hard work, but it’s worth it and it’s the most beautiful thing.
This guy has become my rock, my prayer warrior, my shoulder to cry on, my person who gets my sarcasm, and the one person who’s never going to leave my side. We get each other!
May God send you someone that gets you! That becomes your person, that understands your hurt, your tears, and may not have words, but he’ll stand with you through the fire.
When the pain is too much to understand; trust Jesus to bring healing, to bring you; your people, and allow him to carry the load.
Only Jesus is perfect and some people are only meant to be in your circle for a season, some God places in your path for the trial, and some are there through thick or thin.
James 4:8, “Draw near to the and I’ll draw near to you”. Jesus is holding his hand out, saying take hold my child, I got you. This fire let me put out! I got plenty of water!
As I sit here reflecting the day and the achievements of satisfaction of rewards from putting in endless hours of Physical Therapy, today the pain and suffering was put to test. I was able to bike for 6 Miles at Hot Worxs. I still do not have feeling in my leg from surgery, but I was released to bike inside and walk a mile as long as there’s resting spots along the journey.
Oct. 21st has radically changed my life. Though the days seem long and the suffering seems eternal. I know I’ll come out stronger than before.
Suffering. We all have endured suffering. Some we have created on our own, some life has handed us, and some that has just appeared without us knowing.
Suffering. I imagine the definition of suffering to be mixed with a little bit of chaos to help the individual or situation to grow substantial, but to be meaningful and significant with hopes and dreams of achieving more.
Personally. Suffering will either make or break you! You can choose to allow the suffering to drag you down or you can choose to find Joy in the chaos.
Jesus suffered enough for all of us to have eternal life. He paid the ultimate sacrifice, so we could be forgiven. I think of failures often and how I wish I would have done this or I wish I would have not made that decision in life. I think of how God has forgiven me day in and day out, and how much he loves me.
The greatest gift at Christmas is not the gifts or the company, but the greatest gift is Jesus! He came to the world to save us! I personally, think that is pretty cool. People will fail you, the world will fall apart, but King Jesus never will.
This Christmas find time to celebrate the real meaning of Christmas. If you don’t know this Jesus, my prayer for you is that you would truly surrender at the foot of the cross and give your heart to Jesus. He will radically change your life! He loves you much!
Your suffering is not a punishment; it’s a way for you to trust Jesus more and grow in your walk with Jesus.
It has been a minute since I posted, sometimes as a writer, you often don’t have words. The last month I have not had many words, I have shed many tears, asked many questions, and pondered the “Why” multiple times a day. I’ve relied on my friends and families prayers, as I haven’t had the words to pray.
On October 21st, 2025, I went in for minor MCL Repair Surgery, and left with major reconstructive knee surgery, of which has left me in the most agonizing pain I’ve ever endured. On the outside, I’m smiles and laughter, but on the inside I cry multiple tears a day, cry myself to sleep, pick my leg up often because it will not function. This is definitely not normal and currently we have no answers. Surgery went smoothly. My MCL and ACL were repaired, I know have a piece of my shinbone, patella, and a hamstring ligament in my knee to keep it functioning. I know — crazy to think that my own broken pieces of my knee are holding my leg together. Technology is amazing, and along with several screws, you’d think my leg would be functional. Truth is I now, can truly say, I might have a few screws loose, if something is going wrong in my life in the future. I know it’s just a figure of speed, let’s not get crazy 🤣.
Well… My quad muscles are not firing up. Sometimes, they attempt to function, most days they make me frustrated, where I find myself talking to kneezbee often. Yes. I’ve named my left knee. What? Y’all don’t do that! Kneezbee is testing my faith, my patience, and my endurance.
I never thought at the age of 42, I’d be experiencing this type of pain where I’m having to put Tens on my leg, ice, sleepless nights, tears, frustration, relying on everyone to take care of my needs.
It truly has been a humbling experience. We all have our outlets. My outlet is writing, running, crafts, worship music, and maybe adding way too many crafts to my Amazon Cart in the middle of the night. Oh and shoes, your girl here loves shoes. The truth is when you can’t really do your outlet, you find yourself questioning your purpose, what is happening? What did I do? Why me? All these negative thoughts start going through your head and that is what Satan wants you to do. He wants to get you to focus on the negative and have a pity party.
When Pain hits you mentally, you have to dust yourself off, pick yourself up, straighten your crown, and remember who you belong to.
You can’t let the hard days win! You have to keep on keeping on. The world needs you, the world is a complicated place and it wants to lose, but Jesus came to give you life and life abundantly.
When you are suffering, you have to turn your Pain into Strength. You can’t let your weakness get the best of you!
For me, not being able to have an outlet, this has strengthened my faith. It has helped me to grow as a person, an individual, and has taught me I’m tough as nails.
I refuse to let my situation destroy who I am in Christ, who I am as an athlete, and who I am as a person. It might mean I have to train harder, or take longer to heal, but my pain and suffering, have become my Mental Strength. I refuse to quit!
You might be asking yourself about the pain you are enduring… How do you overcome? How do you grow from your experience? The truth is, you are going to get out of the situation what you put into it. If you are negative; you are going to receive negative vibes. If you are positive; you will receive positive thoughts and outcomes. Your mindset is everything!
I don’t know your struggles, but I do know my own and my faith is in Jesus; he’s never let me down. I’m not giving up now!
Blessings,
Doc J
A few hours after surgery, before the pain decided to mess with my toughness.
On October 21st, 2025, I went in for what I thought was going to be Minor Surgery on my MCL, three hours later woke up finding out I had Reconstructive Surgery on my MCL/ACL, and the surgeon took a ligament from my hamstring and put it in my knee, a long with several screws.
I have had many surgeries in my life, this surgery tops them all as far as pain goes. It’s going on close to 72 hours of being awake.
This got me thinking of how we carry each other’s burdens. We sharpen each other by carrying the load, building each other up, encouraging each other.
Surround yourself with people who are willing to put in the work by simply praying for you. Exhaustion is real, but God places people in our lives to help us carry the load.
My husband has been a trooper, supporting me drying my tears, praying for me, checking on me, and making sure I have everything I need.
Jesus wants us to cast all fears and anxiety on him. To trust him. To love like Jesus. To allow him to give us rest and to trust the process.
Whatever you are going through, please know you are not alone. People will fail you, but Jesus never will. He is the way, the truth, and the life.
I know , a crazy title, but how often do we listen to the voices within our head. I mean… The Voices that tell us we can’t, we shouldn’t, we’re crazy, we’re weak, we aren’t good enough, you’re never going to make it. The enemies voice will get louder and louder, and try and change your mindset.
The enemy comes to Kill, Steal, and Destroy. Jesus comes to give life and life abundantly.
I’ve been the person to listen to the wrong voices and I ended up discouraged, I have also been the person who stood on the mountain after the victory was won. Don’t let people destroy who you are, where you are going, and define you. Jesus is the only person who defines who I am and has the final say.
September is Suicide Awareness Month and I think of lives lost and how precious they were to me. What if God is calling you to higher ground and he was you to speak life into hurting lives. The hurdles we face help us grow, strengthen our faith, and allow us to develop empathy for the broken.
You are not alone! You are worth every mile! Never give in to the lies and voices in your head. You matter! You are somebody!
How often have we been discouraged and put our own selves down? I know, I have instead of speaking positive self-talk, we destroy our lives with negativity.
There’s always going to be conflict, but learn to find the positive in every situation. I remember a time when I was in high school, a teacher told me I would never amount to anything. They told me I’d never be college material. Those words stuck with me and I believed the lies that were told to me. For years, I thought I didn’t deserve to go to college. Because those words were sowed into my life at a young age. It wasn’t until I moved in with my grandmother after high school, that she encouraged me to go college.
If it wasn’t for my grandmother, I don’t think I’d ever go to school. She always told me she was living her dreams through me. That is why I worked hard to earn the highest degree, to give her honor.
Speak life into your situation. It’s okay to be angry, but don’t let your words destroy your destiny.
Choose joy even amidst the suffering!
Find someone and build them up, encourage them, and speak life into their situation.
